A large part of conscious growth is the ability to recognize and choose frames. Without this ability, your unconscious default mode shapes your life. This mode is usually a collection of beliefs and values from your upbringing.

For example, most parents unintentionally install the belief I’m not good enough into their children. This happens when your child makes a mistake or fails at something, and then you get upset and angry with them. While you may have good intentions behind your reaction, the unintended consequences are the child making conclusions that he is not good enough. If this cycle of event-reaction-conclusion happens enough times, the belief I’m not good enough becomes part of their unconscious identity.

Not all unconscious default modes are bad, per se. But if you’re not happy with your life circumstances, or if you feel stuck in a particular area of life, you’re likely using a frame that has limited possibilities for positive change.

What are frames?

Frames are perspectives - a mental view that determines how you relate to something or someone. Imagine you have a box of lenses. Each lens is a different color. When you choose the green lens, and hold it up to your eye, the world turns green. Choose a different color-red-and now the world is painted red. Pick up the purple lens, and now the world is purple. Frames are like colorful lenses, when you swap out one frame for a different one, your view of life changes.

It’s important to not confuse frames with truths. A truth is a verifiable fact, for example, I have $100 in my wallet. A frame is a worldview, for example, money is the root of all evil. Frames often feel like truths because we generate certain emotions and results with the frame in use. If someone frames money as the root of all evil, that frame will generate scarcity thinking and anxiety based emotions around money. Therefore, this person’s relationship and results with money will be that of struggle and strife. Based on those results, it must be true that money is the root of all evil.

But it’s not. I could swap out “money is the root of all evil” with “money is neutral.” This type of frame will view money as neither good or bad - it just is. Money won’t be polarizing for this person. He will likely see money as a resource or as a medium of exchange. Money wouldn’t consume this person’s life, and he would only think about money when it’s needed.

Why are choosing frames important?

Each frame has within it certain outcomes. If you want to change your life, choose a frame that places you in the area of those certain outcomes. Notice how I didn’t say, “choosing a frame will get you a certain outcome.” That is the equivalent of not having an apple, visualizing an apple, and then an apple magically appears. A frame only contains the possibility of certain outcomes. In other words, frame number 1 has this pool of outcomes, frame number 2 has this different pool of outcomes, and so on.

For example, imagine that you’re holding a map of the United States of America. There are so many possible destinations on that map. You could go to Boston, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, or thousands of other cities. You want to experience the best clam chowder in the US. You heard Boston has some pretty good chowder, so you choose that destination.

Boston is your frame. Within the city limits of Boston-your frame-you discover there’s only the possibility of white clam chowder. Hawhatttt! You don’t want that, you want the red stuff (I’d keep that to yourself while in Boston). So you change the frame to New York, where the possibility of red chowder exists. Now your chances go up a 100 fold on scoring the chowder you desire.

Most people go after outcomes without considering the frame in use. This is like searching for red clam chowder in the city of Boston - it just doesn’t exist. But if you find the right frame that contains the outcome you desire (New York = red chowder), or if you change the desired outcome to go with the frame in use (white chowder = Boston), your chances of success skyrocket.

Power framing

Taking your default frame and making re-frames is called power framing. This is a conscious effort in recognizing your current frame-in-use and then deciding what re-frames will open up the possibilities to the results you want. Let’s look at a common frame around money.

One common frame I see is that people treat money as an object of desire. So with this type of frame, what outcomes are available? This frame emphasizes dominance and envy. Money will probably be your master. Your decisions will center around how much money you have or don’t have. You will work at a shitty job because it pays well. Increasing your lifestyle will be important.

You will also have fears and scarcity around money. When the flow is abundant, life is great. But when the money flow is tight, which happens more often than not, you go in lockdown mode. Living paycheck to paycheck is common in this frame; so is the endless need to accumulate and not having enough.

Let’s say that you don’t like that frame anymore. You’re tired of the available outcomes in that frame and you want some new, healthier results. So let’s make a power frame. Instead of framing money as an object of desire, you re-frame it to: money is like a playful friend.

This is a much healthier and positive frame. It’s one I use on a consistent basis. This frame emphasizes playfulness and connection. Money becomes a fun game. You don’t want to bore your friend, so you find interesting and unique games to play. Maybe your friend thinks working 9-5 is boring, so instead you create multiple businesses because it’s fun and interesting. Good friendships have a healthy dynamic of giving and receiving. You focus on giving and being of service. When it’s time to receive, you happily accept the gift of money and appreciate your friend’s generosity.

Since money is a playful friend, you don’t want to betray his trust. Therefore, you play the money game with integrity. And like all healthy friendships, there’s mutual respect and boundaries; therefore, money is only important when money is needed.

The idea is to consciously choose frames, a.k.a perspectives, that empower your relationships. Frames are designed to move you from scarcity into the experience of abundance. Feel free to choose as many frames as you like. I often have 2-3 power frames, sometimes more, with different areas of my life.

For example, as I write this article, I’m using two power frames. Frame 1: writing an article is an adventure and exploration of conscious growth and creative expression. Frame 2: writing an article is like a coaching session. This session is helping my personal growth and helping others improve their lives.

It’s your turn

Choose an area of life that you’re struggling with and not getting the results you want. This could be a relationship with someone, your health and body, your finances, or your creative flow. It can be anything you have a relationship with.

How are you currently relating to that area of life? What frames are you using?

What power frames could you make to have a healthier relationship with that area of life?

Here’s a short list of framing examples:

  • Frame: Money is the root of all evil.
  • Power frame: Money is a coach and a tool for my growth.
  • Frame: I don’t have enough money.
  • Power frame: I have the perfect amount of money right now.
  • Frame: There’s not enough time in the day.
  • Power frame: Time is infinite. There’s only the present moment.
  • Frame: My spouse doesn’t listen to me.
  • Power frame: How can I be more understanding and a better listener to my spouse?
  • Frame: I’m fat and no one finds me sexy.
  • Power frame: What do I love about my body? How am I beautiful?

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